Friendship Evangelism

By the proliferation of books and studies and seminars about this subject, one would think it had just been invented, somewhere around the beginning of the digital age. But let’s look again at Pentecost, in Acts 2. The Bible says the people heard “them” speaking in their own languages. That would be everyone in the Upper Room, apparently about 120 people. See Acts 1:15. There is only one sermon recorded—Peter’s public one. But there was clearly a lot more than that going on if 3,000 people joined. To whose houses did they go and break bread? How could they have had all things in common? They may all have been united, but to each individual’s perception, they had to have felt united with few enough people to circle around, to share hugs with, to know and feel known.

The biggest Evangelistic Event we can imagine is made up of single individuals who are mostly there “with someone.” Not only that, there is a long continuum of human experience and knowledge of God. At what we might designate the extreme left end of the continuum, there is the person who doesn’t believe there is a God at all, or simply never thinks about it. At the extreme right are the people who are the most aware, moment by moment, of living and moving and having their being in God. These are usually humble souls, startled when others call them godly, or great Christians. It seems that the closer you get to that end of the spectrum, the more aware of God you are and the less aware of yourself, though, paradoxically, these people do know themselves with detailed and scrupulous honesty. (Which is probably why they’re not proud …)

Somewhere in the middle of this line is the cross of Christ, and the further to the left one goes from that line, the less and less likely it is that anyone living on that end of things will even consider attending an organized evangelism event. When it happens, it will be because of a human connection. His grandmother used to go to these and he’s curious. His boss, a very interesting person because he has the unusual ability to be angry without harming the people around him, is a member of the originating church. Or maybe a friend is playing the violin there tonight.

The overwhelming majority of the time, these events are targeted toward and appeal to the person who perhaps has a spiritual background, vaguely thinks the Bible is God’s word, or is already a committed Christian who wants to know more about prophecy or lifestyle or which day is really the Sabbath of God.

For our friends who are already not too far left of the cross, or live in its light but are curious about our ability to put together the whole Bible into a cohesive and understandable whole, all we need to do is pray, remind ourselves to follow the principles outlined in Scripture, some of which have been delineated in this unit, pray, ask forgiveness when necessary, pray, and Be Friends! Go bowling together. Garden together. Share recipes and tools and a ride to the store. Pray together if they’re interested. Show up when they’re sick or frightened or lonely. Listen.

Listen! That requires ears, not mouth. Don’t judge, keep praying, and listen.

If we are seeking a way to connect this person to an organized event we know is coming up, we can look for a connection that already exists. John loves classical music, has a season ticket to the symphony, and plays the cello, or wishes he did. Dave’s church is putting on a music festival that portrays a key Bible truth in song. Bingo! Better yet, because Dave has a lot of friends like John, he is the one who suggested it to his church board. Maybe even helped to plan it; invited John to play “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.”

Friendship comes first. That’s the principle. We are all naturally drawn to certain people, whether those who have things in common with us, or those who are different enough that we are attracted and curious.

We like art, and so does the next-door neighbor. We invite him to attend a painting class with us. Or we take one from him.

We’re from Missouri or Saskatchewan, and the new neighbor wears a hijab. We are cautious and respectful, but we get to know and love this woman, and maybe someday we can also learn

what it means to her to be Muslim. And share what we have in common—and what we don’t.

We are two guys in the same neighborhood who both love to rebuild old cars. Under the hood together, we can learn a lot about each other’s souls.

When these friendships are strong and established, which will take time, sometimes lots of it, we start wondering what, if anything, we are to say about our faith. Should we try to deliberately turn conversations? Ask God, but don’t assume it’s true. It might not be, despite what successes the other people in Sabbath school class are having.

One likely scenario is that a day comes that one of us is in crisis. It hardly matters which one. This is a loving friendship now, and the other will offer strength and comfort. Spiritual things will come up. And we may find we learn as much as we teach, but we will also get the chance to talk about trusting a God who loves us personally.