Paul and Barbara Sanders, in their book Choosing Forgiveness, suggest several reasons why
forgiveness is so important to healthy living.
1. Acknowledging our own humanity first enables
us to live in honesty with ourselves and others. Admitting that we, too, are in debt because of our personal failures
and mistakes empowers us to live with integrity. Honesty is central to a life
of integrity and authenticity which in turn are crucial to healthy living. When
we live in alignment and congruence with who we are and what we value most, we are
more deeply fulfilled and satisfied and enjoy meaning and transformation.
And that personal honesty about our own
shortcomings, combined with our willingness to receive forgiveness from God and
others who offer it to us, empowers us to be forgiving, gracious people to
those who are in our debt. These two experiences are bound together like yin
and yang. Each needs the other to exist. To receive the gift and yet not pass
it on is the highest form of insanity and ingratitude.
No wonder, in Jesus’ story, the King responds in
absolute shock and anger when he finds out that the servant whose infinite debt
he just canceled went out and refused to forgive a colleague’s miniscule debt.
It’s inconceivable that this should ever happen!
Our ability to forgive is directly proportional
to our ability to both admit our own indebtedness and to accept free grace and
forgiveness for it. Doing both is living in honesty.
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