Friday, April 29, 2016

Why Choose to Forgive (04-29-16 Part V)

Paul and Barbara Sanders, in their book Choosing Forgiveness, suggest several reasons why forgiveness is so important to healthy living. (see blog 04-25-16 part I, blog 04-26-16 part II, blog 04-27-16, blog 04-27-16 part IV)

The movie The Interpreter, starring Nicole Kidman as a United Nations interpreter (Silvia Broome), is a powerful story about the human struggle between forgiveness and revenge when you’ve been hurt and wronged.

The story begins when Silvia overhears an assassination threat against a foreign president scheduled to speak at the UN. Instead of just a threat against a well-known dignitary, however, the threat is against a dignitary accused of genocide. Even more than just a tragedy Silvia has heard about on the news, the deaths that surround President Zuwani’s name are her countrymen, her neighbors, and her family. This is not only professional, it’s personal.

In struggling with her anger and grief, she tells the secret service agent assigned to protect her (who himself struggles with anger over the loss of his spouse in a tragic car accident) about an African ceremony in her native country.

“Everyone who loses somebody wants revenge on someone, on God if they can’t find anyone else. But in Africa, in Matobo, the Ku believe that the only way to end grief is to save a life. If someone is murdered, a year of mourning ends with a ritual that we call the Drowning Man Trial. There’s an all-night party beside a river. At dawn, the killer is put in a boat. He’s taken out on the water and he’s dropped. He’s bound so that he can’t swim.

The family of the dead then has to make a choice. They can let him drown or they can swim out and save him. The Ku believe that if the family lets the killer drown, they’ll have justice but spend the rest of their lives in mourning. But if they save him, if they admit that life isn’t always just ... that very act can take away their sorrow.”

How do you react to that ritual? Would it be helpful if you had been hurt or wronged? What does it suggest about the dynamics of dealing with loss and hurt?

Sylvia Broome suddenly finds herself confronted with the most important choice of her life - what to do about the man responsible for so many deaths in her life. Should she let him be assassinated by simply not saying anything about what she’s heard? Should she feel jubilation at the thought of this man’s just death? Should she seek revenge in some other way or simply refuse to deal with it and try to keep on living with the hurt and pain of her past? It’s clear that she’s locked into her pain which has turned to resentment and bitterness for life. She’s faced with the choice in her own Drowning Man Ritual. Is it possible that forgiveness is one of the keys that would unlock the prison door of her grief from the hurts she didn’t deserve?


Jesus said, “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Not an easy prayer or process! But ultimately the most effective tool for personal and relational liberation.

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